….shame you can’t bottle it!

This afternoon I have been teaching my grandson Collin how to sew mini owl key rings. His Aunty cut out the shapes and explained about adding the features. And together they came up with several unique owlets. You could almost grasp the patience emanating from the two of them, as they helped each other to with useful advice. I think Collin made a great job of them for his first attempt at sewing. And he is so enthusiastic, you can’t teach or buy that so I’ll be encouraging him to try other things over the weekend.

From the look on his face when he was sitting at the table,  my sewing machine in front of him, I could see in his face the desire to have a try at using it.  Maybe one day next week when I have the time needed to talk him through the mechanics of using the machine. But until then he will have to be content to use the old needle and thread.

And content he was.  He is a very able learner and after being shown just once how to do something he had the confidence to carry out the instructions correctly.  I must admit I was surprised at how quickly he picked up the different techniques, but there again I have found some of the more able children I have worked have tended to be of the male sex when it comes to crafts and needlework.

And Collin wasn’t no different, but I couldn’t get him to leave it till later and go up to bed.  “I’ll just sew this side Grandma”, he said, his little fingers flying back and forth as he worked his way round the miniature felt shapes. So keen was he, it was hard to be firm and insist it was too late to still be sewing. If only I could bottle all that enthusiasm, he would make his Grandma a very rich woman.

Not a battery in sight, no TV, no technology, and no moaning or complaining he was bored, just overwhelming eagerness. And the look on his face when I took a photo of the finished product, was a testament to the level of enjoyment he’d gained from our time together

During the time we were discussing how successful the outcome, I asked what he wanted to do with these little critters.  He asked could he give his mum one as a present.  Of course I said that would be fine, I’m sure mum will be very pleased with the finished product and will proudly show it off to her friends.   Then I suggested he carry on making key rings and he can sell them to make himself a bit pocket-money. I’m sure people would happily give a pound or so for his little owls.

I am so proud of my grandson, he reminds me so much of my late Dad who was also very clever with his hands.  When he wasn’t building a new cupboard or a bookcase, you’d find my Dad removing screws, and nuts and bolts all  in the name of ‘repairing’ some household appliance or other.  And it was never fixed properly if there wasn’t at least one screw left over., or so I was told.

My dad had a knitting machine on which he knitted our jumpers. He was a competent needleworker  having been raised in a family where the talents of all, boys and girls were valued and encouraged.  His stint doing national Service ensured he honed his repair skills using a needle and thread.  He taught me how to darn his socks when I was about nine years old.  I still have his old mushroom should the fashion for  darning  socks return I’ll be more than prepared to take up where I left off.

The thing my dad made that had the greatest effect on me was the Valentines cake he made for my mother.  Three layers high, it was decorated with pink marzipan and icing sugar hearts.  I remember coming home from school to find it sitting in the middle of the dining room table like a little pink palace of loveliness.  I was so envious, I wanted to learn how to do the same, but had to wait a couple of days for him to teach me how to make the cake, minus the pink hearts.

There wasn’t much my dad couldn’t accomplish, and he passed his abilities to me.   He taught me so much, he was always encouraging me to try different things to stretch my abilities.  I tried to pass on what I know to my children and in turn those of my grandchildren who have shown an interest.

I am looking forward to introducing Collin to other areas of creativity that I suspect he’ll thoroughly enjoy.

WARNING……..

WARNING…… There have been numerous reports of zombie outbreaks throughout the country,  the magnitude of which has never before been seen in the United Kingdom. Members of the public have been advised for their own safety to remain in their homes and avoid quick bites to eat as this could prove extremely detrimental to their health. Three course meals are recommended though care should be taken to follow a balanced diet. “A crisis is NO excuse for reckless diets and over eating”, warns the department of health. This statement has been confirmed and endorsed by WHO (World Health Organisation), on advisement of the Prime Minister. 
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Large groups of zombies have been observed wandering our car parks and supermarkets, in particular those giant food chains who offer BOGOF, two for the price of one and half price offers.  Attracted to the huge amount of free food that no sane person could possibly hope to devour on a weekly basis, the walking dead have been observed relentlessly following supermarket trollies in the pursuit of tasty morsels to satisfy their outrageous demands for sustenance.

It would appear that the zombies prefer the late evenings and early mornings  to prowl,  though this is still to be officially confirmed.  A spokesperson for the government declined the opportunity to make a statement when contacted this morning at 9.00 GMT.  There have also been several unconfirmed reports that the older zombies have been found sleeping in the afternoons, presumably early morning escapades necessitate the need for regular ‘granny naps’.  Any solitary zombie found sleeping after lunch is regarded as fair game and should be captured and imprisoned at any employment office, after the appropriate paperwork has been completed in triplicate.

If you should come across zombie hoards, you are advised NOT to try to capture or outrun the creatures.  Do not be fooled by the slow ambling gait evident in the majority of the creatures, it is simply an illusion perpetrated by them in an attempt to fool the living population, lulling them into a false sense of security.  In reality the zombies can move at the speed of light, and in the blink of an eye they will overcome the strongest member of the public, sucking their brains out through their ears and feasting on their own toe nails.  Please heed these warnings and to ensure the survival of the human race pass this message onto your family and friends.  image image

As a citizen of Great Britain you also have a moral obligation to take responsibility for your older neighbours who will require assistance on a daily basis.  The government cannot provide extra funds or safety measures to protect our more vulnerable members of society, that’s where you come in. Visit your neighbours regularly, be observant;  How long has the milk sat on the step?  Is  the mail piling up? Have those curtains been opened this week? All of these observations can indicate if something untoward is happening in your neighbourhood and may highlight when an elderly person may be at risk.

What to do if you bump into one of these incredible creatures on your visit to the Supermarkets you ask.  Whatever you do, DON’T, I repeat DON’T look into their eyes. This can prove fatal.  In the event you succumb to the zombie influence the only way to break free of the impact of their deadly stare  is by rubbing the back of their necks with burgundy boot polish.  Though it should be noted that there have been unconfirmed reports that this method of disabling the zombies  has failed numerous times.  It is thought a more effective method of disabling the marauding  undead would be to spray them with Bird’s ready-made custard, aiming for their hair.  This won’t kill them, but they will be incensed that you have messed up their hair, they will sit down on the nearest pavement and cry buckets till they have pulled out and eaten all the yellow goo.

Should you look into their eyes they probably won’t physically harm you but it is thought they will follow you home and take up residence in your home.  During their waking periods they will eat all the food you have in your cupboards and fridge, they’ll  drink all your beer and drain your tap dry leaving you thirsty and starving,  and craving flesh!! Should this happen,  without delay, visit you nearest butcher who will happily slaughter you a pound of horse meat sausages.  Eat one a day for three weeks and hopefully the zombie effect will be eliminated.

The government has also expressed grave concerns over the large numbers applying to the registrar for licenses of matrimony throughout the zombie world. It is feared this increase will result in the birth of new and more complex life forms hitherto unseen by man. There is no telling what the results of these outrageous unions will be and how they will adapt to our way of life.  Should you receive an invitation to such a wedding you have been advised the government will frown badly on your attendance and may have you arrested and placed in custody in the nearest bingo hall for a period of up to ten months. It is thought the monotonous banality of the pastime provided will wipe all thought of marriage from even the clearest of minds.

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You have been warned!!

No zombies or retired members of our society have been hurt or eaten during the writing of this report. All photographs were taken with permission and individual consent was given for them to be publish in the internet.

Zombies can be purchased from the author, prices and details of individual zombies are available on request.

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